Today's Quotes

We gawk at that which we do not wish to take the time to understand

When someone is down in the dumps - the world seems against them, they cannot seem to find optimisim, and a problem lurks around every corner of their brain - one might seek out inspirational quotes to remind them of how valuable they can be, each and every moment...

...This is not one of those times. Today I bring you a collection of funny, ridiculous or just plain baffling quotes from my myriad of adventures and eavesdropping (context where necessary)

1) “If the alter ego was a woman, wouldn’t she be confused why she had a penis?”
-Overheard in a Gender Studies class in college - food for thought, for sure.

2) “I’m sorry, I thought you were the trash can.”
-A woman in New Orleans to an African-American friend, just after crinkling an empty cup and no-look tossing it at him - no further comment necessary...

3) “I haven’t had sober sex in years. I don’t even know what it feels like anymore!”
-A gem overheard on a party bus - the party being a Keith Jarrett concert; I can only imagine this gentleman being severely out of place.

4) “I’m so cold, I need to find my… birth control.”
-A girl at a pool party - one who needs to straighten out her priorities.

5) “You’re a drug addict, you should know better!”
- A pure optimist (exact context unknown, but anyone saying something so ignorant ought to be addicted to the drug themselves)...

6) "OH MY SCIENCE!!!"
-South Park (Go God Go series) in a world ruled by atheists. Why any single person on earth would not think this is funny is beyond me.



Think 'em over: How can you relate? How are you flawed?  (Because let's face it, we all can be pretty damn stupid a lot of the time, regardless of our actual intelligence