Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Today's Thought for Food



I WAS going to waste today's post on my own personal examination of the healing power of music, specifically the importance of having such a companion when toiling away at your goals individually, but I stumbled upon this speech by an idol, Kurt Vonnegut (who doesn't consider him a major influence?) and figured I couldn't possibly put it as beautifully as he does here:

I was so innocent once that I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such an America during the Great Depression, when there were no jobs. And then we fought and often died for that dream during the Second World War, when there was no peace.
But I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America’s becoming humane and reasonable. That is because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts us absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. I myself have experienced that intoxication. I was once a Corporal.
By saying our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our men and women fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many of their bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.
But I will say this:
No matter how corrupt and greedy our government and our corporations and our media and Wall Street and our religious and charitable organizations may become, the music will still be perfectly wonderful.
If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
The only proof he needed of the existence of God was music.
And I have arranged for a Strauss waltz to be played as you depart, so you can waltz the heck out of here when it is time to go. For those of you who don’t know how to waltz, nothing could be easier and more human. You go step, slide, rest, step, slide, rest, step, slide, rest. Oom, pah, pah, oom, pah, pah.
Bill Gates doesn’t seem to realize that we are dancing animals.
During our catastrophically idiotic war in Vietnam, the music just kept getting better and better. We lost that war, by the way. Order couldn’t be restored in Indochina until the locals could finally kick us the hell out of there.
That war only made billionaires out of millionaires. This war is making trillionaires out of billionaires. I call that progress.
And how come the people in countries we invade can’t fight like ladies and gentlemen, in uniforms, and with tanks and helicopter gunships?
About music: I like Strauss and Mozart and all that, but I would be remiss not to mention the absolutely priceless gift which African Americans gave to the whole wild world when they were still in slavery. I mean the blues. All pop music today, jazz, swing, bebop, Elvis Presley, the Beatles, the Stones, rock ’n’ roll, hip-hop, and on and on is derived from the blues.
How do I know it’s a gift to the world? One of the best rhythm-and-blues combos I ever heard was three guys and a girl from Finland, playing in a club in Krakow, Poland.
The wonderful writer Albert Murray, who is a jazz historian among other things, told me that, during the era of slavery in this country, an atrocity from which we can never fully recover, the suicide rate per capita among slave owners was much higher than the suicide rate among slaves. Al Murray says he thinks this was because slaves had a way of dealing with depression, which their white owners did not. They could play the blues.
He says something else which also sounds right to me. He says the blues can’t drive depression clear out of a house, but they can drive it into the corners of any room where they are being played.
I am, incidentally, honorary president of the American Humanist Associated, having succeeded the late, great science-fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that utterly functionless capacity. We Humanists behave as honorably as we can without any expectations of rewards or punishments in an afterlife. We serve as best we can the only abstraction with which we have any real familiarity, which is our community.
We had a memorial service for Asimov a while back, and at one point I said, “Isaac is up in Heaven now.” That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of Humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored.
If I should ever die, again God forbid, I hope some of you will say, “Kurt’s up in Heaven now.” That’s my favorite joke.
The moral of this story? Keep your head screwed on, but your ears screwed on tighter....
Salud

Monday, April 28, 2014

RIP DJ Rashad & DJ EZ Rock



DJ EZ Rock
DJ Rashad

Tough weekend for music. Remember to have fun, as I'm sure these two did to the fullest... gone too soon:




Saturday, April 26, 2014

Some Jammies for the Mammies

Anyone trying to find some creative motivation? Here's a tip: watch this videos, listen to these songs - perhaps they'll inspire something within you... or at least show you what a good clean fun time used to look like.


Friday, April 25, 2014

Today's Short Story


                     Two Dope Boys in a Cadillac

The two boys slowly got out of the Cadillac and stood at the bottom of the hill, staring up at the house. Matthew took his sweatshirt off, began airing it out, and suggested Nick, who was merely standing watching him, do the same. Smoke still seeped out of the car as the boys put their sweatshirts back on and began their ascent up the hill. “Yo, uh, you got any Visine?”
“I’ll one up you. I got Roto. Feel the burn.” Matt tossed him the eye-drops and watched as Nick struggled to properly apply them to his cornea.
“You’d think I’d be able to do this easily by now.”
“You’d think you be able to do a lot by now.”
Nick finally cleared his eyes and hurled the eye-drops back at Matthew. “Asshole.”
They continued their march up towards the house, neither of them remembering it being so difficult of a walk. They finally stood in front of the cozy confines of Matthew Harris’ family’s home and approached the door. Nick grunted.
“What’s that about?”
“Nothing.”
“No, no, that was like a—some sort of moan or something. You OK?”
“Yea, man, I’m fine.” He rapidly shook his head twice and with his index and middle finger on either side of his nose began rubbing the corner of his eyes. 
“Calm down, dude, she won’t know.”
 “Should I apologize?”
“I’ve done enough apologizing for the both of us.”
Matthew put his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned.  “I’m going to apologize. I’ll just wait till the right moment.” Immediately the smell of finely spiced chicken and steak hit them, and upon entering the house they could see a bucket of chips next to a tray of homemade guacamole sitting on the living room table.
“Dude, my mom makes the best Mexican food. You came on the right night.”
“And it’s cool that I’m here, right?
“We’re about to find out.”
 “Hello?” A motherly voice called from the kitchen. The sound was muffled by the oven vent that simultaneously cleared the room of smoke while adding a good ten degrees of humidity to the scene. Matthew took a few steps further into the house until he could maneuver his long neck around a corner of the kitchen wall to show his face.
“Hi Mom.”
She closed the oven door and turned around. “Hey you. How was your day?”
“Not bad, pretty typical.”
“You decide to bring anyone over for dinner?”
On cue, Nick slid out from behind the wall with an ear-to-ear grin. “Mrs. Harris!!”
“Nick… how are you?” She turned her head towards him but kept her eyes on her son.
“Come on, bring it in for the real thing.”
“What?” Before she could even finish the word, Nick went in for the embrace. He squeezed Mrs. Harris like he might never let go; his way of apologizing. She stood firmly, not bothering to return the heartfelt grip, instead looking directly at her son with confused, angry eyes. She slowly backed away from the hug until Nick got the idea.
“Thank you so much for having me. I LOVE Mexican food.”
“Oh yea?”
“Definitely. Taco Bell, is like—“ he clasped his hands together to show how passionate he felt—“my GO to, late night.” Nick glanced at Matthew, who would not even return the favor. Mrs. Harris turned around and bent down to open a cabinet at her knees.
“Nick, do you think I could talk to Matt for a moment?”
“Yea, no problem. Go ahead.” He did not move.
Mrs. Harris came back up with a large pizza cutter in her hand. “Alone?”
Nick smacked himself on the head, rolled his eyes, and smiled at her. She was not amused. He scrambled out of the room.
“It’ll only be for a moment.”
“Take your time!” His voiced faded off as he went to indulge in some chips and dip.
Mrs. Harris walked to the oven, put the pizza cutter down on the adjacent counter a bit too emphatically, and turned to glare at her son. “What do you think you’re doing bringing him here?”
“You told me I could bring a friend over for dinner. He was the only one I could get to commit on such short notice. ”
“What a surprise.”
Nick tilted his head slightly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“That drug-addict never has anything to do; he’ll always jump on an opportunity where he can get something for free.”
“Drug addict? He smokes some weed!” His enthusiastic flailing of the arms did nothing to help his argument.
“That is a DRUG, Matthew.”
            Matthew snickered. “Oh, come on—“ But he was now sweating, either from the heat or the fear that he was wrong.
 “Have you not learned your lesson by now?”
“I have.”
“Well then why would you bring him over here?”
“I don’t know, I guess I wasn’t—“
“Oh- you weren’t thinking? What a new development that is…”
“Do you really have to talk to me like that?”
 “Until you start taking responsibility for your actions, yes.”
The distance between them grew as a long silence filled the room. The only audible sounds were the vent and the faint sound of chips crunching in Nick’s mouth from over twenty feet away. Mrs. Harris took this as her cue to begin unloading the spice rack, looking for anything and everything that could make her meal more unique.
            “So what do I do about Nick?”
Almost indifferently, she replied, “Nothing, I guess, there’s enough food for four. You just better hope your father doesn’t come home.”
Five minutes later, Mrs. Harris brought out the last plate of tacos and sat down with the two boys.
            “Thank you again, so much, for having me Mrs. Harris. Really.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure.” Matt pretended not to notice the half-ass grinned she sent his friend’s way. They ate silently for a few moments; their soundtrack consisted of the hard crunch of taco shells and the painful ringing of glass against glass after Matthew put his water cup down three inches too far to the left. Matthew stared straight down at his food, Mrs. Harris stared straight into Matthew, and Nick, not being able to control himself, stared straight at Mrs. Harris’ chest. She cleared her throat, lowered her head a bit, and locked eyes with Nick. Nick’s attention immediately reverted to the Jackson Pollock that hung on the wall behind her head.
“I saw your sister today, Nick.”
“Oh, really?” He couldn’t look her in the eye.
“I mean her classroom is right next to mine, I see her pretty much every day. Ms. Peterson says she’s learning really quickly.”
“Oh, well, you know little Brenda,” Nick said chuckling nervously, “always just a little bit ahead of the curve.”
“Mmm.” Mrs. Harris nodded, sipped her water, put the glass down firmly, and watched Nick as he unsuccessfully tried to keep his taco from completely falling apart. “You having some trouble there?”
“What? Oh”— Nick hadn’t noticed, and suddenly he was frantically spooning all the meat he had dropped onto the table back into his taco shell, now in shambles. His plate looked like a dog had gone to town on it. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s quite alright. Blame the cook, right?” Nick looked at her and quietly chuckled to himself, quickly looking back at his plate, then up at her again and back down.
Matthew, embarrassed for his friend and himself, was getting comfortable playing the role of silent observer until he heard the faint sound of a car engine. Suddenly, he ran his hand through his hair and started shoveling everything from his plate into his mouth. He grabbed a quesadilla off of the communal plate in between the three of them, knowing he needed to consume as much as he could before what he thought was about to go down did. Nick finished his glass of water and started to stand up. Mrs. Harris, also aware of the car outside, darted her eyes and Nick and got up out of her chair before he had a chance to.
“You need some more water?”
Confused by her sudden enthusiasm, Nick seized the opportunity to stay seated. She walked around him and he handed her the empty glass. As she disappeared into the kitchen she lowered her eyes at her son, acknowledging what was about to occur. The front door opened and Mr. Harris’ figure appeared in the doorway. Nick, seated with his back to the door, leaned towards Matthew and began speaking in a low whisper.
“I’ve got such cottonmouth, bro. You were right though, this shit is good.” Matthew looked at him only for a brief moment, nodded lethargically, and focused his attention back on the tiny amount of food that remained in front of him.
In no time, he heard his father walk into the kitchen to kiss his mother on the cheek. He could tell by his father’s footsteps that he had a pep in his step this evening. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so awkward.
“How was your day, honey?”
“Oh, just great.” Nick, engaged in his taco reorganizing process, suddenly propped himself up in his seat. He glanced at Matthew, who offered no help. “And to come back to a home-cooked meal, AND to get to eat with my family: God, what a treat.” He began approaching the dining room, loosening his tie as he did.
“Hey, kiddo—“ He stopped dead in his tracks.  “What is he doing here?”
Promptly, Nick slid his chair back, stood up, and, with his best military face extended his arm in the direction of Mr. Harris. “Mr. Harris, good to see you again! May I please take this time to apologize for”—
“WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?”
“Excuse me?”
“Matthew, answer me.”
Matthew abruptly sat up firmly in his seat and whimpered out, “He’s just eating dinner.”
“Get out.”
“What? Who?”
Nick, knowing defeat, did not say a word and turned towards the door. Matthew stood up but just as quickly sat back down. “No. Son, you stay. Mr. Vasquez, you get out. And do not step foot in my house again lest you want to see how I handle real business.”
“Yes sir.” And like that, Nick was gone, scampering out the door and down the hill and past the car and into the wooded forest to go finish the blunt that he and his girlfriend had rolled the night before. “Living room. Now.” Mr. Harris’ tone was sharp, as if he were speaking to one of his inferiors rather than his own blood.
Matthew sat on the couch, drumming on his thighs, staring at the bucket of chips. A beat in his head kept him rocking back and forth ever so slightly. His mother had the sink running on high in the kitchen as his father stood on the opposite side of the table, looking down at his only offspring.
            “Why are you still hanging around him?”
Matthew, preferring to look down at the floor than at his subject, replied weakly, “He’s my friend.”
            “What did I tell you would happen if I saw you with him again?”
            “I don’t see why you think he’s such a bad kid.”
            “He got you arrested, son. Almost cost you your future.”
            “And he was the one who came and bailed me out.”
            “Cause he was responsible for putting you in there!”
            You didn’t do anything.”
            “You’re mother and I were both working. To give you a better future. And you’re fucking it all up.” Mrs. Harris, standing in the kitchen, turned on the sink to full power and began thoroughly cleaning dishes. After a few moments, Matthew mustered up the best response he could.
            “He took responsibility for what he did.”
            “Yet he still hasn’t learned his lesson. And apparently you haven’t either.”
            “Dad…”
            “No, Matthew. Nothing else needs to be said. I think you know how disappointed we are.”
“Give me a chance to talk.”
Mr. Harris gazed at his son, who looked even weaker then he usually does. “Are you high?”
“What?”
“Did you really have the gall to come into this house stoned? A week after getting caught?”
“No.”
“Christ, son.”
Matthew slid forward, now on the edge of the couch. “Dad, just let me say something.”
“You’ve said all you need to.” With those words, Mr. Harris rigidly turned away from his son and went upstairs to decompress from a hard day’s work. Matthew sat in the living room until he finished the entire bucket of chips.

At 2 AM that morning, Matthew Harris snuck out of his bedroom window and drove to his friend Nick Vasquez’s house to smoke some weed and shoot the shit.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Today's Quotes

We gawk at that which we do not wish to take the time to understand

When someone is down in the dumps - the world seems against them, they cannot seem to find optimisim, and a problem lurks around every corner of their brain - one might seek out inspirational quotes to remind them of how valuable they can be, each and every moment...

...This is not one of those times. Today I bring you a collection of funny, ridiculous or just plain baffling quotes from my myriad of adventures and eavesdropping (context where necessary)

1) “If the alter ego was a woman, wouldn’t she be confused why she had a penis?”
-Overheard in a Gender Studies class in college - food for thought, for sure.

2) “I’m sorry, I thought you were the trash can.”
-A woman in New Orleans to an African-American friend, just after crinkling an empty cup and no-look tossing it at him - no further comment necessary...

3) “I haven’t had sober sex in years. I don’t even know what it feels like anymore!”
-A gem overheard on a party bus - the party being a Keith Jarrett concert; I can only imagine this gentleman being severely out of place.

4) “I’m so cold, I need to find my… birth control.”
-A girl at a pool party - one who needs to straighten out her priorities.

5) “You’re a drug addict, you should know better!”
- A pure optimist (exact context unknown, but anyone saying something so ignorant ought to be addicted to the drug themselves)...

6) "OH MY SCIENCE!!!"
-South Park (Go God Go series) in a world ruled by atheists. Why any single person on earth would not think this is funny is beyond me.



Think 'em over: How can you relate? How are you flawed?  (Because let's face it, we all can be pretty damn stupid a lot of the time, regardless of our actual intelligence

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Short Film of the Day

Much of the trouble that comes in life can be explained (rudimentarily) by Maslow's hierarchy of needs - those who have the privilege of the lifelong promise of a roof over their head and food to eat come up with new issues - ones of identity, romantic longing, and fulfillment from work (and other things of that nature). Thus the trouble in my mind with the rich getting richer, and the poor growing poorer; to fill the non-financial voids, many people, especially those borne into money, desire even more out of their already privileged, special life. It is the simple idea of not knowing how good one has it, which can be applied to almost every single person I know, myself included (perhaps specifically so). Today, I present a silly short film depicting a man at a crossroads due to such an issue - if one loses the use of an arm, how far will they go in their attempts to get things back to the way they were (even if said return to normal is not for the best)? Perhaps the answer lies within today's short: An Arm for An Arm...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Today's Movie Reviews

In the past three days, I have had the pleasure of seeing two newly or soon-to-be released films. Here are my (brief) thoughts on each.


Under The Skin - Film 4 - Directed by Jonathan Glazer, Starring Scarlett Johansson

Watch out 2014 - There is a new "Best Film of the Year" and it is going to be tough to top. Glazer, known mostly for his stylish and powerful music videos, channeled both his inner Kubrick and a bit of Tarkovsky in this atmospheric, haunting, revelatory film about an alien posing as a beautiful woman and seducing men in and around Scotland. From the striking visuals to the necessary complex sound design, Under the Skin is more of a sensory experience than a literal one; exposition is refreshingly absent, but not in a head-on confrontational way such as the one that Shane Carruth employs (albeit for very different cinematic reasons)... In this case, the lack of explanation simply acts to focus on the visuals - ones which can capture so much power that explaining the exact meaning of said image would remove much of the power that the mystery within entails (if that makes ANY sense at all). From an eerily spacious, all-black set that acts as a portal into the horror lurking just underneath Johansson's seduction to beauty of a dimly lit beach (where other horrors lie), all meaning, literal and figurative, in this film can be discerned from visuals - abstract and obtuse but not painstakingly so, I was captivated from frame one, an effect that never dwindled, thanks to sharp editing and vitally sharp images, such as a layering of Johansson's sleeping alien over the haunting trees that adds a unique layer of emotional and physical complexity I have changed my interpretation of too many times to count in the three days since having the pleasure of witnessing. Much can be said about this film, from it's stripped down plotting to its odd but far from off-putting combination of over-stylization (in the seduction scenes) and hyper-realism (in the assimilation scenes), but it is never not thought-provoking, particularly in a particularly effective sequence involving a disfigured man apparently suffering from Elephantitis - a plot development that takes the film in an entirely new direction, all while feeling like part and parcel of an important if not fully comprehensible (at least on first viewing) whole. Some may be put off by the challenging lack of plot and dialogue, but if they can just let the movie seep into their brains (and their skins - elementary pun notwithstanding) they will come out in the other end highly affected, thinking about human nature a bit differently, and ultimately can see just how beautiful, effective, and influential a film can be, despite the endless amounts of images and sounds we are inundated with every day - in a world where so much of media resembles things that came before it (or nowadays plainly steals its entire creativity from it), this is a more than welcome breath of alien fresh air, an experience I hope to have again but one I admittedly might have to wait years for - a unique experience not to be forgotten anytime soon, Under the Skin represents a talented visionary at the top of his game - at least thus far - and a Hollywood actress taking a risk that should pay off huge dividends for how people view her repertoire of skills in the near and distant future.

Final Grade: 9.5/10


Night Moves - Maybach Films - Directed by Kelly Reichardt, Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning, and Peter Sarsgaard

Kelly Reichardt is known for her minimalism and, as the man who introduced the Tribeca Film Festival I attended says, her restraint behind the camera. In a time when many moves live by the credo "bigger is better," her approach to storytelling and the potent visuals she uses to carry her films is refreshing at least, vital to American cinema at best. With her first outing since the grueling, methodical, and ultimately hypnotic Meek's Cutoff, Reichardt covers fairly common filmmaking ground: The heist film. Throughout it's runtime, I was shocked at how recognizable some story elements were, particularly considering her previous mood-focused works. Still, still is such an impressive talent that the film satisfied me nonetheless, if not completely winning me over due to a second half that doesn't quite live up to the potential of the slow-boiling, tense, and thoroughly procedural first. Watching three very talented actors (never thought I'd really be saying that about Dakota Fanning, but alas) play off of each other, whether it is silent understanding or passive-aggressively struggling for power, proved to be the best thing Reichardt had up her sleeve, for her penchant for subtlety and lack of unecessary exposition works to slow down the second half, which is almost fully focused on the fallout of a crime emotionally for Jesse Eisenberg's Jason. While the planning and execution of a job (details of which I will not reveal) gained strength through it's silent moments and subtle glances between characters, watching a fundamentalist slowly but surely lose his way just does not work quite as well when it is depicted so visually - maybe it is Eisenberg, who usually uses dialogue in such a forceful way that simply the way he pronounces words can move mountains - but there was something lacking for me in the final moments, so much so that when the credits started to roll (after a properly ambiguous ending) I found myself feeling like my emotions were not stirred the way they Reichardt intended. Regardless, her style and the way she decides to parcel out information is in such opposition with mainstream America, I could not help but support the story and the character arcs within. Even when they strained credulity (and mind you, only a bit), her confidence in her actors and in the audience to not be spoon-fed the motivations is beyond respectable. However, at the end of the day, I want to be moved by a film, or at least challenged, so while she is a director I respect and admire, perhaps moreso than any other American woman working today (of which there are obviously not nearly enough), I cannot say that Reichardt moves me, or makes me think about the world in a different light. I found the movie engaging, intelligent, but ultimately I cannot see myself revisiting it and discovering any new elements that bring to life a story that has been told many times before, if not in such visually arresting, nuanced ways.

(Perhaps this is because so many moments of Under the Skin feel stamped onto my psyche for months, but still, one cannot discredit the cinematic viewing context they view such films in).

Final Grade: 8/10


Monday, April 21, 2014

Short Story Samplings: #1

               
How to Play a Round of Golf (And Keep Your Sanity)

In order to succeed, it is an absolute must that you start well. This means first and foremost getting a good night’s sleep. No barhopping, girl-chasing, or drug-induced debauchery. Having to bail your friend out of jail at six in the morning does not bode well for a strong outing the following afternoon.
Sleep late (make sure to close your shades the night before,) and eat a solid breakfast. Don’t be too lazy to walk a few blocks away and get a real bagel as opposed to the rock-hard excuse for a Jewish donut they have around the corner. Eat it slowly, with a glass of orange juice, and allow yourself some time to digest before you jump into whatever early morning errands you have to run. Make sure to kiss your “Life’s a Joke, but Golf is Serious” pillow before you walk out the door.
On the drive up to your country club, visualize your impending round. Imagine the ball’s perfect trajectory as you see it land but ten feet from the pin, then envision your smooth, seamless putting stroke as you up-and-down for your fourth par of the day. Remember what your golf pro told you over and over again; remind your body of the torque motion that it is undoubtedly getting sick of— prepare for the worst, hope for something decent.
Do not under any circumstances eat a big lunch. And don’t feel bad about not being able to find anybody to play with. Sit in silence, munch on your personalized wrap, the same one you always get from the delicious buffet, and don’t mind that you are the only person in the room under the age of forty. Don’t even think about getting it in your head that you don’t belong. Eat slowly; make sure it is past two o’ clock when you shake Kyle the maitre d’s hand, thank him for everything, and quietly tell the doctors and lawyers with their judging eyes to fuck themselves. If it is before two, you will have to spend 50 extra dollars tipping a caddie.
When the Caddie Master at the first tee offers you one anyway, respectfully decline. Take a cart, or else you’ll end up calling it a day early. There’s nothing worse than shanking a ball across the wrong fairway and having to lug your clubs around while getting yelled at by the people whose round you rudely interrupted with your terrible play. Nobody can withstand four-plus hours of that kind of self-torture. Have the caddie who’s missing out on your fifty-dollar tip put your bag on your cart. There is no need to explain to him that you want to be alone; he will understand. Give him a friendly nod and grab your driver. Eyes on the prize.
This is it. The most important shot of the day. Stretch your body out first. Rotate side to side with the club sprawled across your arms behind your head. Take at least three practice swings before even teeing up the ball. Remember what the golf pro told you. Approach the ball and swing with confidence. If you need to, take another drive. They don’t call it breakfast ball for nothing. The first hole should go by without much controversy. Don’t complain if you bogey but don’t gloat with a par. It’s a sign of things to come but only if you don’t let yourself get too comfortable. The respect that each and every shot demands is warranted. This is a man’s game, after all.
The second hole is the true test of what the rest of the day holds. You will slice your drive; don’t get discouraged. If you hit it like you usually do, the tree on the right will surely be avoidable— just don’t think about evading it too much. If there’s one thing you learned it’s that on the links, the more you think about not doing something, the more likely it is to happen. “God, I hope I don’t short this putt,” might as well be a death sentence, while telling yourself “Keep your head down, keep your head down” can only mean you’re due for a twenty-yard, ground ball, waste of a shot sometime soon. Finish out the hole with confidence; be glad to get out of there with anything better than a triple bogey.
When you see the foursome in front of you on the third hole, do not panic. Try your best to cease the self-talk, as your bound to bring up the fact that your pace is completely changed and thus your day potentially ruined. It is too early for that negative Nancy bullshit. Do not let others’ presence affect the way you think, act, or judge yourself. You are neither better nor worse for how you play in their company. If you must, wait for them to be on the green until you set up in the tee box.
They should be done with the fourth hole by the time you complete your two-putt for bogey, but if they aren’t, embrace it. Notice that nobody is on your tail and accept the fact that it is beautiful outside and you are finally alone and of all the places you could be, you chose here. Even if your round is a disaster a la Chernobyl, you spent a day with nature, surrounded by some of the most aesthetically pleasing trees, lakes, and man-made creeks that Westchester has to offer. Doubting these thoughts will only prove futile. If you must, smoke one of the joints you brought with you and play some music on your iPhone. It’s quiet enough that nobody will be able to hear what song your shuffle chooses, and hopefully once you’re high and calm again the foursome will be out of sight.
Once you smoke the whole day is different. The sun shines a little brighter, it’s rays a little hotter, and each shot loses a little bit of importance. Now, you can laugh it off when you top the ball for a meager fifty yards, or resist the urge to hurl your club into the trees when the green doesn’t quite break the way you anticipated. Now, you have an excuse for why you can never live up to your own expectations.
After a break of almost ten minutes, don’t expect to stick your eight-iron on the green for the opportunity for a birdie putt. Be happy you’re not in the sand. If you are unfortunate enough to be in the sand, be happy your grandmother is not here to reminisce for the five hundredth time about when you were thirteen and she kicked you off the course because your raking technique did not meet her standards. Try not to think about your grandmother again the rest of the day.
When you have had enough of the slow pace, kindly ask the foursome in front of you to play through. Make sure your shirt is tucked in when you approach them or they might say no, denying you any chance of finishing your round before the sun goes down. Despite what you think is appropriate, do not rush through the next hole to create space from them. There are four of them and one of you, and they are undoubtedly older and naturally move slower anyway. The space will create itself.
When you decide to rush the next few holes anyway, don’t complain about your sloppy play. Know that you are just looking for excuses, for reasons to believe that by spending time out here you are somehow doing somebody wrong or missing out on something more important. Do not trust your negative judgment; it will only lead to self-pity.
After the front nine, don’t even think about calling it a day. You may believe that there are bigger and brighter things going on at home, but really all your friends wish they were you right now. Believe that if you actually succumbed to your fears and went home, you’d be wasting more time, letting more things ruminate, and ultimately dream of being back on the course. Right now it is just you, your thoughts, and the great outdoors. Keep these experiences close.
Tee off on ten and know you’ve made the right decision. Not because you just hit your best drive of the day, but because now is the time it usually starts getting cooler as darkness begins it’s slow approach. Your polo will ease off of the tight grip it has on your skin as the sun falls behind the trees and your only real distraction is how much of a utopia the land seems to be. There is nothing quite like hitting a solid drive into an orange and dark blue sky, watching as your ball seemingly disappears on the horizon only to land directly in the middle of the fairway, right where you aimed. Smoke your second joint if you must but know that despite what you believe, your appreciation of the situation will dwindle. In its place insecurities will come to light and any confidence you may have had will morph into indifference about any mistake you make.
The next few holes should be a breeze. One of them will almost certainly go horribly, but if you can anticipate it, the sting is not nearly as bad as the feeling you’ll get on your favorite and typically best hole when you use the wrong club and hit your approach ten yards short of the green. Funny how some double bogeys can make a day seem worthless while others make you realize you still have a fighting chance at attaining real success. The ebb and flow of a psyche during a round of golf is not worth trying to understand.
Even though the sun seems to be down and it is getting harder and harder to see your ball, do not rush through the last few holes. Trust that you planned everything properly; It would be a real shame to have to pick up in the middle of a hole and show up at the clubhouse with an incomplete scorecard. When you hit a particularly good approach shot on seventeen, don’t give in to the urge to rush your putt. It is precisely when you think you are free from the struggles of the game that they show you just how pertinent they are. Believe that the world is not over when you three-putt for bogey.
Do not take out your frustration on your final tee shot of the day. Just because your round is almost over does not mean that this hole won’t ruin everything you’ve done thus far. When you slice your drive onto a different fairway, don’t be surprised or upset. You’re tired, you’re a bit chilly, it is dark; the elements are in control now, and you must do your best to finish headstrong. When it takes you four more shots merely to reach the green, don’t sigh. Don’t whine to yourself, or throw your club for one final dramatic moment. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Finish out, shake the course’s proverbial hand, and mark down your final score. Then, toss the scorecard into your bag, hoping that the score will change itself, knowing you will probably never look at the card again. No amount of strokes can sum up your experience. Go to the locker room—which is surely empty by now—and take a nice long shower. You are in no rush to get back home to see your friends. They will be there whether you go out with them tonight or decide to quietly watch a movie at home. There is nothing wrong with devoting the day to you and you alone and being proud of such choices. It will all be worth it in the long run. Return your clubs to your car, hop in the driver’s seat, turn the engine on, and head home knowing that if all else fails, the course will be there tomorrow for you to try to conquer once again.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

MORE QUOTES TO CONSIDER

Some more tidbits from some of my inspirations - they've helped me consider all sides of a story, all sides of an issue - so that I may go about my life in a fresher, clearer, more intelligent and informed way:



1) “How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn't they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?” 

-Don Delilo

2) "We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."

-Hunter S. Thompson

3) “People tell you who they are but we ignore it, because we want them to be what we want them to be. We're flawed because we want so much more - we're ruined because we get these things in wish of what we had."

-Matt Weiner through the writings of Don Draper, Mad Men

4) “It was not by making yourself heard but by staying sane that you carried on the human heritage.”

-George Orwell, 1984
5) “…It is always himself that the coward abandoned first. After this all other betrayals come easily.”

-Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses

This world can be a crazy place, overwhelmingly so sometimes. These ideas can propel you from one day to the next and remind you of the only thing that really matters: Your relationship with yourself, and where you find time for it to grow, adapt, and ultimately hold sacred everything else around you; without figuring out who you are, you will never be able to leave the impact you so deeply desire.

Don't take it from me, take it from the undeniable geniuses above.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Today's Oldies but Goodies

Tonight is the special 80s edition: Taking you back to a time when retro was current, off-putting meant good things, and neon lights ruled the world....




MMM.... Delicious.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Today's Stories to Make you Feel Better About Yourself


The news these days can be GRIM. Missing planes, missing persons, celebrities being bad, adventurers getting in way over their heads... it is repetitive, draining, and ultimately helps promote cynicism in this world. Thus, why I am starting a weekly post: Stories that will make you feel better about yourself. Whether it is someone doing good in the face of bad, people acting so dumb and illogical that you can't help but feel better about yourself for not being them, or simply a human-interest piece with a positive conclusion, I feel it is worth it to give the world a taste of news how it ought to be: Telling stories to promote human behavior, rather than deride the ways in which we all complexly exist.

Today's Articles:

Kurt Cobain's Hometown Unveils Bizarre Statue - Blabbermouth.net
 In his hometown of Aberdeen, Washington, Kurt Cobain was honored with a statue... one that brings up Jesus much more than grunge rock. Also when announcing the unveiling, a local news station used the following words to describe the legend: "Cobain was the lead singer of Nirvana... a well known heroin addict who shot himself nearly 20 years ago."....
....
(Feel good that you're not those morons).

http://www.pressherald.com/news/Syrup_may_be_sweet_for_tribe_s_fortunes_.html 
A tribe in Northern Maine has plans to bring hope for the future by starting a self-sustaining Maple Syrup operation - providing for communities, creating jobs, and sticking to the roots of their heritage while doing so....

(Feel good that people like this still exist; people who see a problem and solve it with commitment to integrity and doing good for a community, not building their own reputation for reputation's sake).





Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Short Story Samplings: #1

       
                                        Wrong Place, Wrong Time

We were supposed to just be out hiking. I was never the hiking type, but I guess I was never really the dating type either. I made an exception this time, only for Lindsey. It took me a while to muster up the courage to ask her out, for I feared if she rejected me it could tarnish our then budding friendship. But alas, asking her out is all she ever wanted from me from the beginning. It was supposed to be a beautiful day, but, just like everything else in my life, something had to get in the way, change the course of action. Only that day, the interference was a little larger than usual.
            When she suggested we go picnic in the Everglades, I was skeptical to say the least. I’m a city kid at heart, always will be, and vast areas of open spaces always remind me of the seemingly endless possibilities the world has to offer that I seem to be missing out on. That said, I actually liked Lindsey at that point and could see myself having a consistently good time with her, so I went with what she wanted. The first rule of being a good person is accepting what others, specifically those you enjoy having around, have to offer, no questions asked. It’s not like I know any better than them anyway.
            Choosing a Sunday was my first mistake. I hadn’t realized how much work I was going to have due the following Monday, but backing out could mean I missed out on my only opportunity to find someone I could actually share myself with.  So, I made another sacrifice and sat in traffic for a good hour when I could have and should have been writing a five-page paper on what I would most like to change about myself. I knew it would be tough to condense everything I wanted to say into five pages, but perhaps I could pinpoint some things over the course of the day. Perhaps Lindsey could help me sort out some issues.
            When we finally got setup and started to eat, the sun—which had been shining all too brightly, causing me to sweat uncontrollably and most definitely conveying a false sense of child-like nervousness to Lindsey—promptly crept behind what seemed like a Hadrian’s wall of dark and ominous clouds and we could tell our day was going to be cut short. How short was a controversial topic of conversation.
            “I don’t like the look of this,” I remember her saying as her casual, friendly tone turned into an immediate “I think this was a big mistake, get me out of here as soon as possible before I do something I regret” one. “Come on, Linds, let’s wait it out, it can’t be that bad.” Of course I knew I was talking crazy, but the idea of driving an hour just to walk around finding a good spot for twenty minutes just to drive right back home seemed much worse than tolerating a little rain. Not to Lindsey however. “You don’t understand, I need to go back to the car and I need to go now. I’m wearing a white t-shirt for God’s sake.”
“And? You look good in that shirt…”
“Yea well I won’t if it starts to rain. And while I appreciate your company, I would not appreciate you seeing through my shirt.” A valid argument I suppose, and so I let what could have been the girl of my dreams take my keys and rush back to the car while I folded up everything we had set up at most ten minutes earlier. I trusted she would not steal my car.
Too bad I couldn’t trust myself to find the correct path back to said car. After just ten minutes, when it finally started to rain, I knew I was in trouble. I was certainly not a professional tracker, but I had enough common sense to understand the concept of recognizing and following footsteps. However, after the rain started coming down in heavy doses, any confidence I may have had pertaining to figuring my way around this seemingly limitless jungle dwindled instantly. When I nearly slipped and fell on a pile of wet pebbles, two snakes slithered directly by my feet. I always had a deep fascination for snakes, or rather what they’re capable of despite their size and shape. So, I decided it would be harmless to take a quick detour and observe how they each dealt with the inclement weather situation. It may have been longer, but it seemed like no more than five minutes passed when the snakes led me to my discovery.
            I had seen a dead body before, just once. When I was fifteen years old playing travel baseball, I played catcher for one of the best young pitchers in the state. He had an arm like a cannon but his attitude was in serious need of servicing. However, all of that became moot, when, after striking out the last batter of a particularly important and tense game, I ran over to the mound to congratulate him and he immediately collapsed into my arms. Heart attack, on the spot. Nobody could do anything but stand in shock until the ambulance came and pronounced him dead, right there on the field. That time I didn’t know he was dead at first, but this time, I knew right away.
            The snakes were seeping their way through his torn and bloodied clothes, joining a few others that had already been building themselves a nice comfort zone with the remnants of life that remained. I remembered how the ill-fated pitcher’s mother, although in a state of pure shock, seemed to be able to worry about everyone leaving her son’s body alone. She must have wanted to remember him as he was, not as he will forever be. Since then, it had always struck me that a dead body should be respected, not feared. However this one, out in the harsh realities of the Everglades, could do nothing but instill fear in whomever came upon it. This man did not deserve what he got; yet he also did not need to be seen in such bad shape: His neck clearly broken, his limbs twisted and turned like whomever or whatever killed him had stuck him through a pretzel maker and then untwisted him then rinsed and repeated until they were satisfied with the half human figure they had just contorted.
It didn’t even cross my mind at the time that I hardly even tensed up when I found what I did. Sure, I definitely felt a little bit of discomfort, but thinking back on it, it helped me realize I feared myself more than anything else. Once I knew I had to move the body, and I had to do it by myself, I could only worry for a moment about Lindsey and what she was thinking. But bigger matters were at hand, bigger matters were always at hand; I had something actually important to do.
Thank God I had recently found that lifting weights was a good way to pass the time and ignore the more than occasional banality of dorm life, because a dead body is just as hard to carry as it looks. I had certainly given my fair share of piggyback rides, but it had been years, and in those situations, I always received some sort of help from the lucky girl who was on my back. With a dead body, the phrase “dead weight” has never been more applicable, and going uphill at all seemed nearly impossible. Seeing as how I did not know my way around the area I was unsure of where to begin, so I just let my feet do all the talking as they led me to wherever this body was forever fated to rest.
After about twenty minutes I realized my inexcusable folly. Seeing the body must have warped my sense of the real world, because suddenly I became conscious of the fact that someone could see me, or worse, someone could have been watching me this whole time. Without context, I can’t imagine how suspicious I looked flinging a visibly deceased body over my shoulder and wandering around a barren swampland with a cooler on my other arm. Even worse, traces of my presence were now everywhere, most importantly all over the victim. If time and rain had washed away any real evidence, I would have provided authorities with myself, an unassuming and considerably dim-witted kid who made an impulsive decision and ruined his life because of it. I knew what I had to do. By now, Lindsey had been waiting a good forty minutes I’m sure, and while I felt bad, I felt stronger about my livelihood being on the line.
It was time to dump the body. As fate would have it, the rain subsided for a few moments and silence consumed the area. The lack of wind, which was typically a problem due to the excessive humidity, allowed me to listen for any flowing bodies of water that might be nearby. Being from a big city allows your ears to become accustomed to breaking down lots of noises and focusing in on one, and although it’s a skill I had never fully embraced or understood, it sure came in handy this day. I was able to ignore the occasional rustling of the leaves or the loudest chirps of the any bird and quickly found myself at the edge of a river with neither a person nor animal in sight. I finally felt alone. I believed I was indestructible for a moment. Untouchable, impervious to judgment. Dropping the body into the muddy waters and watching it float for a few moments before sinking into the planet felt like the greatest weight being lifted from not only my shoulders but also my heart and soul. I had this moment all to myself and I always would. I was happy Lindsey was not here to share it with me. She would have never valued how profound it was, never understand. I might try to explain it to her, have her try to comprehend the importance of this moment to me, but I knew it was no use. And for once, I did not care.